Riddle Messages

☻Why does a nun never wears a bra ? ............ God supports everything...
 
☻If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?
 
☻What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?
 
☻When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?
 
☻What is the velocity of the darkness ?
 
☻Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?
 
☻How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?
 
☻When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?
 
☻Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!
 
☻What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your salary every day and all women bleed dead!!!
 
☻when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley
 
☻Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!
 
☻Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
 
☻Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
 
☻How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite
 
☻It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!
 
☻When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.
 
☻Why did God create the man first and only afterwards the woman? .... To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth for just a few moments. 
 
☻Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.
 
☻Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.
 
☻Why are men like a toothbrush? .... They are useless without handle.
 
☻Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.
 
☻What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.
 
☻Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.
 
☻The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.
 
☻What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside
 
☻It is round and orange and says:"I am an orange, I am an orange"? .................. a mandarin who thinks big
 
☻What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.
 
☻What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A battery has also a positive side.
 
☻why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are between brackets
 
☻How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.
 
☻Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.
 
☻It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge
 
☻What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!
 
☻Why did God create the man first and only then the woman? ...... Everyone makes a draft first!!!
 
☻Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.  .